Many people have posited Namibia to be the one of the safest places in the world in the event of a Zombie apocalypse. Given the incredibly low population density, I was inclined to agree. Until now…
A few weeks ago, the police brought the body of a young man to our morgue. On this cold winter night, the young man was found dangling from a rope in his house. His girlfriend had left him that day, and so he drank heavily and decided to end his life. His body arrived at the hospital and was examined by one of the nurses working night duty. She felt no pulse and saw no signs of breathing, so he was pronounced dead at 21:00.
Eager to leave, the police helped the nurse lift the body into the freezer, closed the door, and received the shock of their lives. The panicked young man’s corpse began banging against the inside of the drawer. He was not dead. He was either a zombie, or the cold night, alcohol and strangulation had lowered his vital signs so low they became imperceptible.
The nurse ran to get a mask from the ward, only to remember the morgue doesn’t stock oxygen tanks. The man was stable enough so they brought him to the emergency room for oxygen and assessment. After a mere two hours he felt better and was sent home.
The hospital staff now realizes the importance of letting the dead bodies sit for a few hours before moving them to the morgue. We call it ‘screening for the undead’.
Just kidding nobody calls it that. I feel Namibia will continue to be a safe hiding place from zombies, unless of course the apocalypse originates from our morgue. I’ll keep you updated.
All levity aside this is a true story. And apparently not that unusual.